I’m going to tell you something that you already know: dating is a frustrating process of trial and error.For a lot of people, it’s a seemingly never-ending dance of missed connections, nights you’ll never get back again and wondering just what’s wrong with you and why everybody else seems to have it so much easier. In fact, for many people, online dating is such a trial that they give up early on. Forget that stuff about playing hard to get, expecting the man to pay, and never having sex on a first date. “I cook a mean paella and I’ll always try to make you laugh” is good, but “I have a fantastic job and no-one can understand why I’m single” is not.Today’s rules are a little more user-friendly – but some of them may surprise you. Many dating profiles start with statements like: “I’m no good at this kind of thing”. If you put yourself down, you won’t sound attractively self-effacing. The aim of the online dating game is to catch the eye of someone you have lots in common with.How important is it to write a good online dating first email?The answer to that may seem obvious, but just in case it isn’t let me say: writing a great first message in online dating is critical to success or failure in your dating life.“We live in a soundbite society so the first 30 words of your profile really count,” says Peter.“Try to avoid clichés in your profile because, let’s face it, everyone wants someone who's loyal and we all like walking on the beach at sunset.
Instead of saying that you like sunsets, mention the best sunset you’ve ever seen.Jim Talbott, director of consumer insights at Match.com, also suggests: “Keep your photos fresh, and swap out your primary photo frequently.You look like a new user and people who might have missed you before are more likely to give you a second look.” A final thought from Honey: “Don't be tempted to airbrush your picture or present yourself looking too much better than you do in real life, and give group photos a miss to avoid confusion.” It might feel a little awkward, but dating expert Peter Spalton says it’s a great idea to ask a friend to cast a fresh eye over what you’ve written – and not just to check your spelling.The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.Online dating takes a different attitude and skill-set than, say, making cold approaches at a bar or flirting with someone you met at a house party.