The level of awfulness in many of the messages I get is truly astounding, and I'm not just talking about all the men out there who dislike reading (for example, my profile makes it clear I love college basketball and not the NBA, so naturally I've gotten at least half a dozen messages asking what my favorite NBA team is).
You know, there could be a situation where it's acceptable to bring up masturbation in a first text message, because, you know..wait, no there's not.
"Leverage the uniqueness of the app, if possible," Drew Michaels, founder of Higher Level Dating and The Dating App Formula, tells Bustle. What I would have my students do, in that case, is stand out by NOT doing it, and instead asking “Be honest, (name)…
"For example, while it’s no longer the case, Coffee Meets Bagel used to give a canned question, inviting people who matched to answer (for example “What’s your favorite pizza topping??
The one that received the least amount of responses?
“Hey.” Similarly, in 2009 Ok Cupid analyzed over 500,000 first messages, looking at at keywords and phrases, discovering it's actually better to use no traditional salutation at all and jump right into chatting. Even though space on your online dating profile is limited, there are ways to convey your personality, whether it's through a picture or a quote on your bio.
It turns out that my main trait that attracts trolls in bars (being a woman who is alive) attracts just as many trolls online.Dating apps like Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel make this a lot easier with icebreakers and questions to answers. "Here are some real conversation starters that work for daters, because we're all better than a "hey! Luckily, there are a ton of options out there to stand out with an original conversation starter, from asking about an interest to commenting on a picture of their cat to using emojis and GIFs. I assume the mindset is “I’d love it if a woman told me she wanted to spend some time between my legs.” Most of us females don’t find that a turn-on from a complete stranger.(Or even not complete strangers.) I’m going to encourage you NOT to send that type of message to someone on the internet. I could have ignored it, but then the blog wouldn’t be as entertaining.